” I feel a Connection with you”
‘When I saw you for the first time I knew ..you are the one’
“You are different”
“I feel alive with you”
“Don’t know why, but I miss you”
“I know I am married and I love my wife, but you are special”
“Your intelligence is such a turn on”
‘You eyes are so expressive, you can talk without speaking”
“You know, so many women keep pinging me and I don’t even reply, but I wait for your replies”
“You think I talk to other women??? No! It’s just you.. You are the only woman feel myself with”
“I respect you more after you told me that you don’t feel for me”
“I will keep loving you”
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga? These lines are not from any novel or film. But I am sure these lines sound so familiar to everyone! Men and women equally familiar, Right??
Almost all the women have gone through this kind of conversation with their ‘Friends’. These species of ‘Friends’ are actually forwarding the same texts to many people in their lists, let me make it more clear; They do not frame even new sentences for you, they just forward what they have used for ages with many people around. They do it to have more people to talk/pass time with maybe, what if the count of their ‘admirer’ to show increases. When you receive such ‘beautiful’ messages and If you don’t nip it in the bud, chances are that it gets worse. At times it gets sleazy. At times it becomes sexting. At times, you block people. At times you threaten them to stay in their limits. Many of the times you blame yourself for this. Most of the times, people from the family blame you for engaging in conversation with the men that lead to this headache. Isn’t it?
I am no different. I find many such messages in the inbox and whats app. Married, Fat, Mother of Two, almost 40 and still there is no dearth of such messages. If you read them with your brain on Leave, you feel how special you are to have received so much attention. Good to boost your self-confidence at times; very harmful in long-term for your own mental peace.
I will share one incident from 2008/9. A Famously know name today, not very popular back then a Hindi poet sent me a friend request on Facebook. My husband had heard a few of his poems on the Internet, so I added him. He needed some information related to my surname, That is how the conversation started. Later on, we also connected on Gmail as he wanted some PR students for his work. Pinging on Gtalk started nicely for work. Slowly the messages started pouring in odd hours “Kaisi ho Sundari” ” Chalo ishq ladaye” “Mausam Suhana hai haseena” “Prem ki gehraioyn ko samjho” , I hate this language and kind of sentences he would send. I being who I am, would respond with rude questions gently ” Bhabhi ji ghar par nahin hain bhaisaab” “Jyada pi li Bhaiya” etc. He tried a few times in whats app era too. He was blocked. We are not connected on any platforms after he became a celebrity, I have no intentions to tarnish his image today for publicity. As he is just one person, From CEO level people to the really young Kids in the office, Complete strangers to the industry Biggies; it has become a routine in the inbox.
My finding is that most of these people will not show any connect publicly on the timelines/ pictures etc. They might hit a like but never comment on your pictures that can be seen and read by people in the network. But they will make sure to make their ways into the inbox through compliments. Why it is difficult to comment on the wall, why try to sneak into the private messages? Here you go, it’s about the intentions and not feelings.
I feel bad, as in some cases you might have really liked some of these people for the person they were before they started to pretend that they ‘feel differently about you’ in the inboxes. I feel terrible. I ended up blocking some really known people in past. From the era of Yahoo messengers to Google talk to FB messenger to whats app; things have not changed much. Unfriending, blocking and public shaming is the new tools to stay stress-free? Not communicating with men solves this?
Don’t take stress when you communicate to the total strangers or know friends. It is perfectly fine to talk or chat with people. It is ok to engage in a conversation on the topic of your interest. Just because some people turn out to be jerks, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be nice to the men around you. Not all the people are the same. Not everyone sends those texts and pictures. Blocking some leeches is ok, shaming them is even better.
I don’t block them now, I share with them the links of such public shaming stories of recent times and tell them to beware of the ‘Stree’ in Me! If I don’t block you doesn’t mean you have a chance, it means you have a narrow escape 😛 I know, I am Badass, and I love that 🙂
#Warning: Yes, I do not share the screenshots on FB, I do not threaten to ruin your career with what you pretend but I have shared recordings of calls and message history in emails with the girlfriends and wives of many in past, leading to breakups and divorces.